Keeping sex a mystery

On the ride to the Berkshires last night, your mom and I decided to wait until you were born to find out your sex. It was your mom’s idea initially, but I quickly agreed. Almost too quickly, as she suddenly realized that she had convinced me of something that she was not entirely convinced of yet herself. 

But I think it’s official. We’ll wait until you are born to find out your sex.

Please note the use of the word sex. As you will see, too often in this world, people incorrectly use the word gender in place of sex. Sex pertains to the anatomical orientation of your sex organs. It is determined by the presence of a penis or vagina.  

Or in rare cases, both. 

Gender implies one’s perception of self in terms of sex. Does the person feel like a man or woman?  In other words, sex and gender in an individual do not always match.   

Confusing these two words annoys me, mostly because it’s typically done by holier-than-thous and Polly Prissy Pants (a South Park reference that I will explain when you are older) who can’t bring themselves to say sex out loud.

So don’t do it, kid. Daddy will be annoyed and will likely punish you.   

Anyway, like I said, we have decided to wait until you are born and be surprised by your sex. Well, not surprised, since it's likely one of two options. But still, it’ll be fun to find out at that moment of joy.  

And this has led me to a brilliant idea.

Your mother, however, may not approve.  

My plan is to pretend that we know your sex and then tell half of our friends and family that you are a girl and the other half that you are a boy. Once the information is dispersed, we will sit back and watch our loved ones squirm as they discover that they are in possession of contrary bits of information.

How will they handle it?
Will they approach us with questions?
Will they make a multitude of phone calls in a desperate effort to find out the truth?
Will they assume that they are wrong and simply shift their assumption?

It’s a simple, juvenile and amusing joke that your mother may not fully support, but you never know. She more of a non-conformist than most people realize, and she possesses a steak of vicious and uncensored humor that I adore.  

I guess I’ll just wait and see how she responds to this post.

Fingers crossed!